The things we don't say to each other (we need feedback)

We need feedback, that seems. I recently completed a personal brand consulting process with a unique professional. The truth is that I have greatly enjoyed this process, a case not easy but with a very open person, resolute and research. One of the moments that caught my eye is that, arriving at the 5 sessions - the equator of consulting- I received an email with feedback of those sessions. A feedback that tasted like glory, and not because it was all positive, but above all because of the angles of improvement that were glimpsed in the process.

We need feedback, the key to the process

If feedback (Feedback) is so important to measure the effectiveness of our strategy and actions, why do we almost never get it? And what's worse why we almost never asked for it?

Fear of feedback often appears to avoid conflict

I don't like what you've done., but since I don't want to fight you, I shut it up and I don't count on you again. This is the beginning of disaster, of incommunicado, of the rupture.

The things we don't say to each other

What we don't tell ourselves can hurt us. True, with a person you don't trust you have to be careful, because giving feedback can become an intrusion of the kind “And you, who gave you candle at this funeral? That's why we need feedback, you have to give it and receive it between relationships of trust.

Feedback errors

An old post from friends of Creative Territory Lists 7 common errors when giving feedback:

  • Judging individuals and not actions
  • Speaking on behalf of others
  • Use generalizations, Ambiguities
  • Use vague messages, unconcreet
  • Use threats or ironies
  • Include your own experiences
  • Accompany the feedback of advice
  • Don't ask permission (in this I don't agree)

I add some of the specialist Kristi Hedges (Forbes):

  • Brown the pill. Go bluntly, don't get to the point
  • Lack of adaptation to the feedback receiver
  • Focus only on positive or negative feedback
  • Light and stenographers: give feedback in public

Get feedback

The other side is the one who gets the feedback, whose attitude will be key to determining whether there will be progress or frustration and stagnation. Our personal brand will benefit from feedback, will be the only way to know if we move forward by enhancing what is perceived as positive and modifying or eliminating what is perceived as improveable. Whatever it is, we need feedback, give it and receive it.

Feedback image by

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12 thoughts on "The things we don't say to each other (we need feedback)”

  1. Hello Guillem,

    I love the theme of the post!
    I'm a fan too. 100% I take advantage of all the opportunities I have to request opinions and recommendations. To avoid those mistakes you mention there is a method that I find very useful: the sandwich method

    Do you know him? In this article I explain it from my perspective. I'd love to hear from you about this method or other techniques for giving feedback.

    A hug and see you soon at Personal Branding Lab Day,

    • Hello Laia,

      I love the sandwich method, it's a good formula for the one who gives the feedback and for the one who receives it. And if it's from a good Iberian acorn ham, Let's go, I don't even tell you…
      I want to prepare a 2nd part of this post with tools to request feedback, and if you give me your OK I'll mention your method, I think it's a simple and effective idea.

      See you soon! U n hug!

  2. William is well Recolons Argenter, how many times do we need to communicate or be told anything to understand how to do better and how many times we shut up or don't get what we need to say/hear so much.
    How many processes would change if they were!
    Good post and good reflection mate.
    Happy Monday!

  3. I just "go back to digital life" with a post asking for comment. And as I wrote I thought in the next post that will explain the importance they have. Sharing it on twitter (after a long time without going in) I have appeared "casually" this post, that explains it perfectly. I loved it.. Magnificent summary!

    • Hello Barbara! Thank you for your comment. True, we need feedback like bread to know if we're going down the right path. About the comments on the blog, Anyway,, it's getting harder and harder. My last posts, despite having broken record visits to the web, they don't get the comments to stay at home but spread across social media. The feedback is just as good, but it's diluted in the magma of the Internet. A greeting and luck with your return to digital life!


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